Good Monday morning all you rock stars! That’s right moms, dads, and players, you are all freakin rock stars! No? Oh well shit, my bad. Sorry. If you’re not rock stars, then you might want to stop acting like you are!
I swear, over the last few weeks, I have been going to camps and watching you guys make some of the absolute dumbest decisions in hockey history!
That’s right, I am the guy you think is just another scout wearing a Bauer jacket with no team logo on it. Yep, the guy sitting in the lobby in between periods and games drinking coffee and listening to all of you make some real stupid decisions.
So, just in case you don’t understand, let me make it real clear for you. If you were not drafted, signed, or tendered in the league you want to play in, your chances of making a team in that league as a free agent are so far removed from logical that you need your head examined!
Seriously, I have seen one player at no less than 5 camps already in the last two months! That’s right 5 camps! Keep chasing that camp high there kids! Parents have more money than sense from the looks of it.
I saw another mom and son get an offer from a CJHL team, that’s Canada Tier II for all the people who haven’t educated themselves, and they turned it down to attend another “main camp”!!!!! Are you kidding me? Can some of you really be this stupid?
You turn down a contract offer to play Tier II in Canada in order to go to another NAHL main camp that has at least 15 players returning and all the drafts and tenders coming? Yeah, that makes great sense. Hey dummy, keep your pen handy because you will soon be signing a Tier III contract at your NAHL “main camp”.
Now don’t get me wrong boys, the NAHL is doing their thing. They are capitalizing on the marketplace that is starving to buy a “label”. No different than my mom who loves her BMW and wouldn’t settle for an Acura. Well, guess what kids? Some of you should be buying the Acura, because you cant afford the BMW.
Oh, and the mommy who wants to have Johnny play close to home so she can keep coddling him into the little pain in the ass spoiled 19 year old that he already is, you are doing a great job! Yep, lets keep on spoiling him and keeping that self entitled spoiled brat mentality healthy!
No, really? You are too good to play for one of the best Tier III teams in the country? You mean because as a third line Midget AAA player behind all the boys going to the USHL and NAHL on your team last year you only had 14 points in 68 games? Oh yeah, I know you played with so and so who is in the USHL. Guess what dip shit, you aint so and so!
Now, lets all take a deep breath, put some KY lube around your neck and get ready to pull your head out of your ass!
Wake up people. Stop over valuing yourself. There is a reason you aren’t where you think you should be. You either aren’t good enough, or everyone else is an idiot. The chances of everyone else being an idiot are pretty remote. So when you dummies get a good offer you might just want to consider it.
Yeah, so I am back on the camp circuit. Following up on some rumors of ohhhhhhh about a dozen teams getting ready to fold in the next two weeks or so. Yep, its just around the corner, and some of them are going to surprise the hell out of you guys.
David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening
