The Death Pool – Special Report – Independent Junior Hockey League Vanishes

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If you have noticed a heightened police presence in the hockey community it is likely because of the massive search and rescue efforts being conducted in regard to the Independent Junior Hockey League.

Announced early this spring the IJHL member franchises Cleveland Chill, Dayton Falcons, Ft. Wayne Whalers, Holland Badgers, Howell Coyotes, and Motor City Mustangs have all vanished.  Not unlike a really bad fart though, there are remnants of their existence.

The Facebook page still exists yet has not been updated since April 24th.  The Website ijhlhockey.com is no longer working.

Arena managers in IJHL cities have been rushed to local medical facilities and some surgeries have been performed to fix the hernia’s that developed from laughing so hard at this proposed shit show.

One arena staff member did speak off the record when contacted saying;

“Shit, I was really worried for a minute.  I thought I was going to have to give up my janitors closet so they could have a team dressing room.  I mean, where the hell was I supposed to put my mops and trash bags?”

Lets all hope there aren’t too many people who lost their money on this shit show.  Seriously, like the world needed another bullshit wanna be junior league for players who shouldn’t be playing junior hockey?

Six teams dead.  Boom, gone in one mass extinction.  See ya boys.  Wow, that takes a few body bags off the shelf.  Six down another eighteen to go!  Hell yeah, lets get it going!

David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You

*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events.  It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.