Ok kids, I have never had to do this before. It was almost one year ago to the day that the Ft. Wayne Federals “went dark”, or in real life terms, were mercifully killed off. The Death Pool – Special Report – We Need Another Stretcher
Some how, some way, USA Hockey allowed the franchise to be dug up from the grave, and some Dr. Frankenstein was allowed to try to bring the franchise back from the dead! Yep, that’s right folks, after the team pulls the plug right before the start of the season, forcing everyone else to redo their schedules, the franchise was allowed back!
So, Dr. Frankenstein a.k.a. Kevin Shupenia the owner of the Federals, thought the dead body would do better if it had a new name. Enter the Indiana Attack.
See this is where it gets good.
The USPHL lost some teams this year. No big deal really because we all expected it in the hockey world. But just two weeks ago the USPHL gave everyone a chance to own up to not being able to play this season. The Indiana Attack told everyone they were fine. Ummmmmmm yeah, well not so much.
See if they would have just owned up to their mess when they had the opportunity, things could have been cleaned up a little easier. But now, two coaches who signed housing leases on September 1st are now screwed. Yep, its not just the players who get screwed, the coaches do to.
Ohhhhhhhh snap, I don’t want to forget that the Assistant Coach says he hasn’t been paid all freakin summer either. But hey, too bad for him right?!
Now the USPHL Mid West Division has to do their entire schedule for the third time this year! Yep, nothing quite like screwing the rest of your league, screwing all the other teams that are under the USPHL brand by embarrassing them, and then moving on too…..Marquette Michigan!
That’s right kids, this is the same owner of the Marquette Royales! Yeah you know the team that won the MNJHL Championship and went to USA Hockey Nationals. The Marquette Royales who after the coach left who took them to Nationals finished with a record that was ummmmmm yeah not even worth talking about.
So, Frankenstein is heading back to Marquette and trying to take some of the players who were supposed to play for the Indiana Attack team with him. But ummmm yeah about that, turns out most players don’t want to play for him. I wonder why?
The real funny part of all this is that the owner is hated in Marquette. No one likes him. One local says that even the stray dogs looking for a meal wont even take a cheeseburger from the guy! Then again, even stray dogs know when to steer clear of guys with losing records! Ha Ha Ha
So yeah, remember the moral of this story kids; If you see a corpse being dug up and some guy trying to sneak it away dressed in a new suit, its still a freakin corpse! Friends don’t let friends hang out with dead guys, and they sure don’t let them sign with teams that were better off dead.
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.