Oh hell yeah mommies and daddies! Its another beautiful fall Thursday morning, and life is good. I should qualify that and say its good for me and not so good for the National College Prospects Hockey League. Say that three times fast! Ha Ha Ha
Ummmmmmm yeah, so, anyone who knows anything about pay to play junior hockey on the east coast knows that there is already too much of it.
Seriously, you got Tier III teams on every freakin street corner. Shit, some times, well in the case of the NCPHL anyway, they even try to place expansion teams in a building that already has a competing Tier III team in it!!! Orrrrrr you try to place a team in the same building as an OHL team!!!! How stupid are some people?!?!?!?!
Now I have been holding off on saying too much on the NCPHL. But that grace period ended when they cancelled some games scheduled for the weekend of October 7th and the weekend of October 14th.
But I sat with the boss last Saturday and watched the Lake Erie Eagles take on the Toronto Stealth. Ummmmm yeah, I cant call this junior hockey. Sorry boys, that was brutal.
This league really is priceless. This is the worst league website in the world of junior hockey. I sure hope no one paid for that piece of shit. Oh and the team sites are just as shitty.
To think it all started with the most racist logo in recent history for the then Lake Erie Warriors. Here is a refresher for you all that missed it.
Then we had teams dropping out and new ones mysteriously popping up. You know, like the Buffalo Hornets going missing while the NY Sharks magically appear! Like the damn Twilight Zone! When the NY Sharks disappear the freakin Mississauga Bruins magically appear!
Then you got a team in called the Mallers. Yeah, nice spelling there boys. They just disappeared while at a David Copperfield show. But the Blyth Pittsburgh Yellow Jackets reappeared almost at the same time! Then the other day the Yellow Jackets went missing during a UFO sighting!
Now the Niagara Red Cats are gone. Yep, what ever the hell a “Red Cat” was supposed to be I guess we will never find out not. Another mythical hockey mascot like the NY Sharks. You know, cause Sharks were synonymous with Lake Erie and Lake Ontario and all!
Where the hell is this league finding their absolutely ridiculous team names? Who the hell is naming these teams? A group of five year old kids sitting around watching cartoon network talking about a league they would make up?
Ohhhhhhh shit, in case you missed it, the NCPHL is supposed to stand for National College Prospects Hockey League. Yeah, as if any real College Prospects are going to go play for a league or teams that cant even spend a little time and money to start off correctly.
But hey, my little cousin would like to place a team in Albany New York guys. If you wouldn’t mind adding a team, it would be within your footprint, and she already has a name and logo picked out. Meet the Albany Bunny Rabbits…
The team will be managed and coached by Elmer J. Fudd. He is currently attending the Jules Winnfield coaching certification class.
On another note, it looks like the GMHL are no longer guaranteed winners in the worst junior hockey business plan of the year. Voting on this years contest may have to be settled by reinstating the Hockey Megabowl with a special guest commissioner…..
Jackie Moon says, Love me $exy bitche$! Its the Megabowl for the worlds worst junior hockey baby! There will be Bear wrestling during the second and third periods, and the winner will receive NCPHL season tickets! Or, in lieu of season tickets, the winner may chose to redeem them for a roll of toilet paper.
David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.
