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The Death Pool – Summer Tryout Camp Roulette

Black or Red boys and girls?  Place your money on the table and spin the wheel.  Want to try your luck?

All summer long families have been playing roulette with their money and their child’s playing future.  Stepping up to the table and dropping thousands of dollars on Black or Red.

I was at a camp this weekend and saw a kid who must have been to at least five or six other camps this summer that I can remember.  Do the math kids.  A half dozen camps.  Three nights hotel each camp.  Three days of meals.  Gas or flight costs.  Time off from work for some parents.  Camp fee’s, and all the time spent getting things together just to go to camp.

The average parent spends $1000.00 per camp.  Some spend more or less.  But why the hell are you people spending so much money chasing the dream of “free to play hockey” when you could have used that money to pay for Tier III?  Look in the mirror kids.  If your not the best player where you played last year, you have a very small chance of moving up this year.

Ohhhhh poor old  me.  I can hear some of you sniveling babies already.  The coaches screwed up right?  Well, has every coach your entire career been wrong about you?  Come on kids!

But hey, the summer camp game of roulette is sure fun to play.  I mean think about it.  All those numbers to play, colors, and the spinning ball almost hypnotizes you.  Yep, good stuff there.

All the camps to choose from.  All over the country.  Every weekend there are camps going on at nearly every level.  So much to see but you cant pick all of them, so you have to gamble.  That’s called the “house edge”.  All these teams know that every year you will chase the numbers.  The problem is that like the gambling addict you aren’t keeping track of your losses.

Hey kids, how about all of those mass emails!  Yep, no more of those until spring.  All those teams sure were interested in just your kid!  Really?

Its a disorganized mess boys and girls.  Its meant to be a disorganized mess.  Its designed to force you to make uneducated decisions.  Its designed to keep you chasing that jackpot, and for the few that do some day hit their number, as soon as they hit it, they forget how much they have lost chasing that one hit.

But the casino is getting ready to close up shop now.  Only a limited amount of camps left and the real games will begin.  The “House” has made its cash, and they will now be gone till spring.  Its alright though, if you didn’t hit your number this year, the game will be back in about eight months.  Yep, just enough time for you to pay off those credit cards, or sock enough money away for when it returns next year.

My boss bitches about the randomness of the camp scheduling.  Its probably a good thing you have to make all these choices and you miss some camps.  If it were too organized some of you would probably spend every summer living out of hotels chasing the dream and playing roulette.  We don’t have to worry about that though because none of these teams an league want to work together to be organized.

So as the roulette wheel closes up for the summer, how much have you plunked down on the table?  Gonna do it again next year?

David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You

*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events.  It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.

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