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The Death Pool – Teams On The Death Watch

It is that time of year again. What time of year is that you ask? It’s the dying time of year.

It is the time of year when dumbass owners and leagues try to put teams on the ice that should never make it to the ice. Teams that not only have extremely low roster numbers, but teams with such low talent levels that it should be a criminal offense to call them “junior hockey”.

Lets start with the CAJHL. The league that simply should not exist, and with any luck they won’t exist in a fw more weeks.

The five-team shit show started their “season” a.k.a. money grab, last week. Yes, five teams. Can you imagine playing four opponents ten times each?

First place Hinton has 16 skaters and 3 goalies.

Second place Vegreville has 16 skaters and 3 goalies

Third place AMP Warriors has 14 skaters and 2 goalies

Fourth place Barrhead has 12 skaters and 3 goalies

Fifth place and defending champions Cold Lake have 12 skaters and 3 goalies

Yes. Not one team has a full roster, and three of the five cannot put three lines together. If that doesn’t say disaster, I have to ask what the hell would?

All five teams, the whole CAJHL is officially on the Death Watch. Hope all you dummies didn’t pay in full.

Then we have the GMHL West. The gift that keeps on giving, if you want to call a case of herpes a gift, then the GMHL West would be that gift for hockey.

Expansion teams of Kitimat, Tumbler Ridge and Burns Lake have had their seasons pushed back three weeks. Multiple sources are reporting not one of the teams could take the ice and play now if they had to. Other reports have teams using other teams’ jerseys to practice in around the “league”.

The Mackenzie Mountaineers also had their season pushed back three weeks in the hope that the extra time will allow them to prepare an even bigger shit show than they put on the ice last year. Here’s to the whole hockey world wishing for more absolute gong show scores in Mackenzie!

The Gibbons Pioneers played with 7 fucking skaters the other day. Yes. Seven! Needless to say they lost 10 to 0. Nothing says quality program like seven skaters.

In four games Gibbons has given up 38 goals and scored a total of 7. I wonder if the goal total was designed to match the total roster number?

Fox Creek which is also perfect with no wins and four losses, is banging up the scoring. Giving up a steady 9 goals per game for all four games totaling 38, they have launched to super stardom and scored 14 of their own.

And you call this junior hockey? I call it an embarrassment that should be ended. WTF are you parents and players thinking even spending money on this?

In conclusion, the CAJHL as a league is on the death watch, and the GMHL West has six teams on the death watch. Got to love all the independent programs in Canada.

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