The Death Pool – These Teams Are On A Death Watch

Monday.  Its a day so many people just don’t look forward to.  Then again, we know thousands of readers out there look forward to swimming in the Death Pool every Monday morning.

I hope everyone had a great weekend.  I know I did sneaking into some NA3HL games!  Ha Ha Ha  That’s right, incognito and shit.  Walked right in and no one even knew.  All I can say is that the display of……

In some arenas was spectacular!  The mid west is the place to be if you want some seriously embarrassing Tier 3 hockey.  Holly shit, what some people are calling junior hockey these days is down right laughable.

But here are a few teams that should be taken out back and shot in the head;

The NA3HL’s Evansville Jr Thuderbolts – Clearly the worst team in North America.  Terribly run, terribly coached, terrible recruiting, and a damn embarrassment!  Who the hell allows this shit on the ice?  In seven games this joke has been out scored 67 to 3.  That’s right 67 to 3.  How long is this going to be allowed to continue?!?!  Seriously, this bullshit team has won a total of 24 games now in its fourth season!  someone pull the plug already.

NA3HL’s Wausau River Wolves – In their second disastrous season, their first two games see them being shit pumped by a score of 27 to 4.  What a waste of a good hockey town.  Down right shame the NA3HL is even allowed to exist there.

NA3HL Butte Cobras – How many “cobras” has anyone seen in freakin Butte Montana anyway?  What idiot named this team and used the clip art freakin logo to start this shit show?  Seriously this is another embarrassment and cant even be called hockey.

NA3HL Yellowstone Quake – Yea, this team should have been killed off years ago simply for off ice issues.  But hey, if you call competitive being outscored 4 to 1 on average, then you have some awesome competition!

NA3HL Niagara Falls Power Hawks – Who the hell named this team?  Seriously, wtf if a “power hawk”?  Because their aint no freakin power anywhere around these “hawks”.  Eight games in giving up an average of more than ten goals per game!  Awesome job on that defensive scheme boys!

NA3HL College Station Spirit – Who says history doesn’t repeat itself?  This team has been a joke since it first set up shop.  Losing by an average of six goals a game is not exactly what anyone would call doing well.  But hey, its all about the ladder of development right?

Oh yeah, and for all you dummies on other NA3HL teams, if you think scouts give two shits about your point totals when you play against these shit shows, you are sadly mistaken.  When you beat up your 10 year old little brother, it doesn’t make you tuff, it makes you look like a moron.

Have teams to add?  Let me know…..

David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I Salute You!
*The Death Pool is a mix of Comedy, and Satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.