The Death Pool – GMHL’s London Lakers On Life Support

The GMHL is a punch line to so many jokes these days that we cant really remember how the jokes begin half the time.

the worst part about the GMHL is that it could actually be a legit league if it stopped being so damn greedy all the time.  But hey when greed begins at the league office, there is only one place for it to go and that’s to all the franchises the league teaches how to fleece families from their money.

The London Lakers.  What can we say.  They are so embarrassing, that if they weren’t close to dying they wouldn’t be worth talking about.

The Lakers are the worst team in the GMHL now that Wiarton has folded.  And it too all starts at the top.

https://www.gofundme.com/london-lakers-junior-a-hockey-club?fbclid=IwAR2fw9XFJfJwSoumxD8VvOEx5kruuybkdtCyLPz6bMKB99MqVHNm4Z3AaLs

Can you believe this for profit business is trying a GoFundMe page to raise money for things they already get paid for?  Can you believe the team owner-coach-manager actually posted this on his Facebook page?!?!

And this is the bullshit they are trying to sell:

We are asking for donations as well as looking for sponsors and business partnerships. Your sponsorship helps offset our team expenses as well as travel costs to away games.

As a sponsor/business partner we have many areas of need.

$100 per game – Lakers Goal – Your business announced over the PA whenever the Lakers score a goal (THIS WILL BE HEARD BY ALL THE EMPTY SEATS IN THE ARENA)

$100 per game – Lakers Special Teams – Your business announced over the PA whenever the Lakers go on the Power Play or Penalty Kill (THIS TOO WILL BE HEARD BY ALL THE EMPTY SEATS IN THE ARENA JUST AT MORE SPECIAL TIMES)

$300 Pucks – We can get 50 pucks for $300 – Our logo on one side, yours on the reverse. (YES, BECAUSE PUCKS COST SIX DOLLARS EACH)

$3000 – Rink Boards – Located in London, Ontario, The London Ice Park has many spots available for rink board advertising @ $250 per month for 1 year, plus costs for each board piece to be printed. (THIS WILL BE SEEN BY ALL THE SAME PEOPLE HEARING THOSE SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENTS)

$3000 Your logo on our team jackets, hoodies, shirts, shorts (YOU TOO CAN LET EVERYONE YOU KNOW YOU ARE SUPPORTING AN ORGANIZATION THAT CLAERLY HAS NO CLUE WHAT THEY ARE DOING)

$5000 Your business name on the back of Lakers home and away jerseys (YES BECAUSE ASSOCIATING YOURSELF WITH THE TITANIC WOULD MEAN SO MANY GOOD THINGS ARE ON THE WAY)

Seriously.  Is it really any secret why they don’t have a single dollar raised as of this writing?  Just crawl into a corner and die will you?

David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I Salute You!
*The Death Pool is a mix of Comedy, and Satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.

All of the sponsorship options above include

4 seasons tickets
Invitation to exclusive Lakers events
Featured on the London Lakers website on Sponsorship Page
Random mentions in our social media postings
Your logo featured on the team lineup handout we give to fans
Autographed team photo
Logo placed on Lakers Bench banner
Logo placed on Lakers Welcome to the Game banner