Holy crap kids, it has been one busy week. Who said labor day was a holiday weekend, I have been on the phone since Friday trying to find enough body bags to do my job. But enough about my problems.
Its an oldie but a goodie for your viewing pleasure…Bring Out Your Dead!
Here’s a riddle for ya….What do you call a league president who gets an email from a reporter asking questions that are hard hitting, who goes to the reporters competition to spread his version of his story instead of answering the reporters questions? I call him something that sure aint chicken salad kids.
Ok, so over the weekend I learned about this CIJHL up in British Columbia. A beauty of a concept, 6 teams all playing each other, training together and going to school together. Sounds ideal doesn’t it? Yeah ok, and so did communism in the 1950’s.
So this league has a beauty of a website, with some of the best looking, amateur designed logos in history. But hey, they sure know how to sell a program by using photos of facilities that they would like to have some day saying they were only representing what the facility would one day look like.
One little problem here kids. When people have asked to see the building or take a tour, ummmmmmm yeahhhh hmmmmmm I know I put that key around here somewhere. Ummmmm yeah, well maybe next time.
In an email received by TJHN the CIJHL founder Jason Nadeau said the following on August 30th 2014, at 9:01 AM;
“First, the Billet coordinator has been hard at work in the community to secure not only enough billet families, but to ensure they pass the CIJHL’s and the AAU’s stringent expectations. This process includes, personal interviews, an in home visit and a Criminal Record Check. This process is time consuming and has understandably bottlenecked our approval process. At the moment, we expect to have housing for most if not all players on time. In case we do no, we have numerous back-up families in place for temporary billets at the start of the season. It is not ideal, but it is a realistic, safe and workable solution if it is necessary. And contrary to rumour none of the Billets are or will be homes owned by any CIJHL owner, investor or executive member.”
Hey buddy wouldn’t your “back-up” or “temporary” billets have to pass the same background screenings! Do you really think people are that dumb? Oh and yeah, the background check is done on line and only takes a few days according to AAU. An in home visit by AAU? Funny, that’s not what other AAU teams say. Don’t be pointing the finger at AAU bottlenecking your process now. Remember AAU is the only sense of credibility you have kid.
But there is more…
“Second, our League Training Center did in fact hit a major bump in the road that has taken 4+ weeks to resolve. In short, our representatives found a City Hall covenant at the last minute that prevented us from moving forward with renovations at our desired pace. However, we didn’t just sit around hoping for a good outcome, we have a fall back and third temporary option in place, just in case we need it.”
So yeah, um I admit we cant deliver what we promised here and I am trying to keep the ship afloat with duct tape.
Yes indeed kids, there is still more….
“Our promise is that while the bells and whistles will come over time, we will have a functional facility ready for September 15th, as promised. Our facility has plenty of pre-built office space which are move-in ready and these will be used for academic pursuits as well as social/team functions. The Gym equipment, Cold Tub, turf and synthetic ice (for the Goalie Centre) are in hand and can be installed within 24 hours. Our biggest hurdle was the construction of the half sized ball hockey rink that the teams could use for additional training or for the players to just have some fun on in their spare time. Knowing that this was our major obstacle due to the City Hall delays, we have concluded an agreement to partner with the Hockey House in Langley (2 miles from the Mustangs arena). They have a full sized regulation Roller/Ball Hockey Rink, along with shooting lanes and a small gym. The CIJHL will have exclusive use each weekday. This gives us more room at our 10,000² foot Training Center for expanding the gym area and at the same time provides an amazing value added venue for every player to use and enjoy that goes above and beyond what we envisioned at the NSTI facility.”
So yeah, about those city hall delays……Ummmmmmm wouldn’t it be a good idea to get the necessary paperwork done before you started selling this dream and taking peoples money? A “functional” facility, notice the word FUNCTIONAL is in italics boys and girls. Everything can be installed within 24 hours, but yeah, two weeks before the start of the season it hasn’t been installed because we don’t have a building.
Here’s the best one though kids, and it concerns your NCAA eligibility if your dumb enough to listen to this crap…..
“Lastly, the issue of NCAA eligibility has been raised. I spoke with the AAU Commissioner and he assured me that all CIJHL contract amendments are legal and within NCAA standards. We will have community outreach programs in place and all participants who volunteered their time according to their individual agreements will be allowed to meet those obligations.”
So you mean to say that the free ride contracts are fine and the players paying $15,000.00 are all good too? You’re saying that the pay to allow players to work off tuition at $50.00 an hour is within NCAA standards? TJHN has emails from players and parents stating full scholarships were provided to some players, while some were paying $10,000 and others were paying as much as $15,000, while some others were given discounts for working around the “facility”. Pricing was all over the map.
Ummmmmm yeah, alright, and AAU approved this pricing structure? Somehow I am smelling some bullshit here, hmmmm maybe its the farm down the road spreading manure.
But hey while you’re at it guys why not throw other people under the bus. News flash CIJHL, no such thing as a work visa for a paid employee is available at the border. Cant be coaching an amateur team and get paid on an amateur coaches visa like your trying to suggest to other people. Easy phone call to make kids, border patrol doesn’t take days off. Funny how the only out clause in a CIJHL coaches contract refers to the inability to obtain a work visa too.
Oh yeah, and TJHN has a copy of a letter that shows the CIJHL didn’t even try to engage an immigration attorney until August 21st. Yep, a full 4 days before the coach was due to leave for British Columbia. Oh and the agreement to hire the immigration attorney isn’t signed.
The attorney letter also states that the only way to get a work permit without a Labor Market Impact Assessment, meaning a lot of red tape, is if a Canadian can do the same thing in the United States if coming to coach here. We already know every Canadian coach who is paid has to have a work visa, so we already know a US coach has to get one for Canada. The letter goes on to say that the application can also be denied based on the discretion of the agency.
So what happens now? Well good thing you asked. It looks like close to half of the leagues players are on there way someplace else and they have asked for refunds of their money. Based on the email the league admits it cant fulfill its promises and should be issuing checks right away. If not, people will probably seeing a lot more of the league in the news.
Looks like some plans to move out of mommy’s basement just don’t work out some times. Oh well, shit happens eh boys? Speaking of mom’s basement, I twisted my ankle yesterday and the sump pump makes an awesome cold tub.
But hey, stay tuned for some special reports, got to run to the good old army surplus store for more body bags. Its going to be a busy next couple of weeks.
David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.
